After years of answering my kids question of ,”What do you want for your birthday?” I finally got what I asked for…A Man!  Okay, maybe just in cake form now, but it’s a start. And to make it even better , It’s Tom Selleck.

     In my quest to find a man, just how many Tom Selleck’s are out there?  I remember watching Magnum P.I  and just loving the beautiful scenery of Hawaii (Tom included).  Then he showed up on the Friends TV sitcom series.  Oh how I envied Monica.

     Life has shown me that the most loving husbands usually don’t look anything like Tom Selleck and their wives are blissfully happy in spite of that fact. 

Well, on with the huntJ

Pop-Ups for Profiles

Lots of looker, but no takers. I really need to talk to an online dating expert.
Just what are men looking for? Okay probably not “overweight and over 50.”

Every other day I check out who’s been peeking at my profile and I’m always surprised that no one bothers to say hello...except “No Tattoos” and “Do You Ride Motorcycles.” So I guess I should spice up my profile. Like the time in the relationship status I accidently put “Single never married.” Right below that I had listed that I had 5+ children. Yes, now that would make for an interesting profile, especially on the religious sites where I post my profile. No wonder I got so many looks.

Maybe I should get one of those pop-ups. You know those annoying little things that block you from exiting a site. Mine would look something like this:

The Secret Rules to Online Dating

I'm still looking for that someone who can converse with just a bit of intellect. Maybe online dating sites aren’t the place to look. “Do you Ride Motorcycles” waited the two days (as I guessed ) before responding to my question of , ”Where do you like to ride?” His reply was that he liked to do gardening

So I visualize him poppin’ wheelies with his motorcycle in his garden to turn over the soil instead of using a tiller.

When I asked “No Tattoos” , “On a scale of 1-10, how tolerant would you rate yourself of others’ thoughts and beliefs if they differ from your own?"  His reply,” Green eyes! Green eyes are my favorite.”

These are not isolated examples. It happens quite a bit. I make sure I do not ask a question in the body of a paragraph and if there is more than one question I even number it for them so they can see there is more than one question.

Is there another rule to online dating that I’m missing? The "Do not ask direct questions"  rule?

And if someone does ask a direct question are you supposed to  follow the "Be evasive or just reply with some random answer" rule?

Playing Games or Following Rules?

I know it’s been a long time but I’ve been busy and men haven’t been on my mind. Okay, not true, but I just haven’t had the time or energy to pursue a relationship until recently. I thought I’d give the old online dating scene another go around. I don’t know why I do this to myself.

Raising the debt ceiling, spending cuts and defaulting on loans....The recent news has me very worried, very worried indeed about the effect it will have on online dating. No one will be able to afford anything but the free trial version of the dating sites. Then nothing more could be done except winks and smiles and nudges that go nowhere. You have to shell out some big bucks to really get some action with these online dating services. Has anyone done the research to see if online dating picks up in times of crisis. Do we feel extra lonely in troubled times? Is it easier to get noticed during times of war, pestilence and natural disaster. Do men get less picky and more desperate? I’ve been noticed this time around.

One of the first interested parties was looking for someone with no tattoos, no extra piercings and someone who would only date inside her race and culture. I found that last part particularly interesting since he listed himself as, Caucasian/white, Hispanic/Latino and Native American. I wrote back that I did have a tattoo of the Salt Lake Temple on my left shoulder given to me by my Asian boyfriend while in an opium stupor. Funny, he never wrote back. I didn’t even get the chance to tell him it was all untrue. Oh well.

The next interested party must have noticed that I had checked out his profile. He sent a generic greeting card and I commented back a simple something about his photos. Two days later he sends a simple question, “Do you ride motorcycles?” The fact is that I do have a motorcycle license but the interesting thing was that he had been online in the last two days....even checked out my profile once again so why the wait? Is there a two day rule for responding to email that I don’t know about? I wrote back and now I am waiting for two days (tomorrow) to see if he writes back.
My question is do I need to wait two days to respond to him if he is purposely waiting two days to respond to me? Or is he just a player with just too many women to keep track of? Would this be considered playing games or following rules? Does anyone out there have the answers?

A Man By November



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So it’s almost November and still no man in my life. I promised myself that I would either have a man by the end of November ... or a dog. I have read many books on manifesting goals, been to workshops and done a lot of research. Now I’m putting it to use.

They (the manifestation pros) say that you should write down what you want in great detail. So I did. I’ve been doing it for years. My good friend Joyce told me that she heard that if you wanted someone in your life to write down what you want and then become that person. Hmmm I don’t think that will work for me. Let me share with you some of what I wrote.....

I finally found my soul mate. His arms are big and very strong and I feel his strength when holds me. I feel the slight stubble on his face as he brushes his cheek against mine...Big strong arms, facial stubble; these are not things I want to emulate...

But I did find a missing piece of the manifestation puzzle in The Jack Rabbit Factor. It is a free book that the author offered me.  It has helped a lot and things are really starting to happen for me...Now If I could just get that man.

How To Date A Doctor...Or Not

A tall, dark and handsome doctor was my dinner companion last week. Well, okay, he sat at my dinner table at a convention I was attending, along with several other women. I kept checking out his hand. No ring….Not even a tan line….Hmmm was he married or not? “So Doctor,” I asked, “Are you on the road a lot?” “Yes, a lot,” he replied.

So what did I ask next? If I were smart I would have asked how his wife liked him being away so much. In which he could have said either, not much, or I’m not married, but my girlfriend travels with me or my ‘partner’ doesn’t like being left behind, anything that would indicate his eligibility status. But the next question I asked was, “Do you have any children?” What???? Do you have any children, what kind of question is that?

Later, I asked how I might get in touch with him if I had a question and he wrote down his number on a card. I was ecstatic! Then later, after researching his line of products, I realized that it was the 800 number to his company and anyone could get it going to the company website.
I think I’ll email him and ask, “ How does your hydrogen peroxide product prevent the conversion to hydroxyl radical such as in
Fe(II) + H2O2 → •OH + OH- + Fe(III) a known oxidative stress, which is an important factor in the development or enhancement of disease?”

Or maybe I should just ask, “Are you single and would you mind if I flirted with you.”

Why Women Like Tall Men

Oooo, the lure of the tall, dark and handsome man. Where did that come from? Why not tall, blonde and handsome? Why not short, bald and somewhat cute? Then I have to think Clark Gable (6’1) or Omar Sharif (5’11) vs Danny Devito (4’11).
                              *****

Research shows that taller men tend to make more money and get promoted faster than their shorter peers. Women are always looking for that extra bit of protection whether it is an ability to provide for family or big strong arms that can gently hold and make a her feel safe.
                               *****
I have to say, being somewhat short myself (5’2) that I always thought I had the best of both worlds. In high school I had access to the shorter guys and the tall guys who loved feeling extra tall around short girls like me. I think it really burned the tall girls when the tall boys would go for short girls. I think they figured it was a waste of height.
                                                                                  *****
Well, tall or short Margot is looking for a man. If you can learn to dance, teach me to fish and make me laugh, I just might find you.

No More Internet Dating Sites For Me!

I broke down and wrote an ad on an internet singles site after I swore I would never go back to internet dating. I should have followed my instincts, but in a moment of weakness I submitted to the lure of eligible bachelors just waiting for a woman like me. Yeah RIGHT! There has been no response to my ad. Is there such a thing as being too honest???  My ad reads:


"Are you the adventurous type? Looking for someone to teach me how to fish for bass. I am average looking and overweight. You don’t have to marry me, just teach me how to fish. Hurry, my license expires soon!"

I can’t believe there were no “bites”, not even a “nibble.”

The Number 1 Rule For Making Friends

At a well known university the professor was working with his students to prepare them for a final they would be taking the next week. Each day as the students arrived they would pass the building maintenance worker sweeping the floors and picking up trash. When the day of the final finally came the students were surprised to find only one question on the test paper…..What was the name of the building maintenance worker?

A few weeks ago our mailman came to the door with a package. I asked him if it felt good to get out of his truck once in awhile and stretch his legs. He said he would be out of the truck permanently after that Friday because he was retiring. I thanked him for his years of service and wished him a happy retirement. As I thought of all the years he had served us and I never really took the time out of my “busy” life to get to know him. The most I offered was just a polite smile and nod if I saw him while getting the mail.
My family and I thought it would be a great idea to celebrate his retirement with a card and balloons. Well my “busy” life kept me from acting on my good intentions, but my daughter and son-in-law followed through. While I was at work that next day, they tied a big bunch of balloons to the mail box and a card that was set up so that it would play when the mail box was opened. You know, I think it made his day. I wonder how many people on his route will even know that he’s gone. The most embarrassing thing for me is that I didn’t even know his name until he sent us a thank-you card. How might my life have been enriched if I had taken the time to get to know this person? I blew the # 1 rule for making friends...Get to know them.


And worst of all….I didn’t even find out if he was single!

Finally!. A Dinner Date

Since I do not date regularly…Okay, not at all lately, going out to eat is not as fun as it used to be. I’m not afraid to dine alone and often enjoy it, but it is never as exciting as when you are getting to know someone over a good meal.
I don’t know what it is, maybe a control issue, but I always end up paying for the meal no matter who I go with. “Oh no, let me get it,” and they do!! Business lunches, friends, family etc., they all let me take care of the bill. But I guess I asked for it.
That is why I finally decided no more going out to eat unless I was on a date, and they paid. So I’ve been waiting to be asked out to dinner and it finally happened. Okay, so dinner was at an all you can eat buffet, but it was also my dad. He paid, I got to eat out, we enjoyed each other’s company and we were both happy. We should have a designated Take A Senior Citizen To Lunch Day. I'll be there soon enough!

Time & Money

In an effort to save money I’ve decided not to go out to eat unless my date, who will be thoroughly enjoying my company, willingly pays for it. Food is always much better in the presence of good company. Men still do pay for the date…right?

I’m having trouble finding time to get out there and rounding up a date. I see another week has come and gone and I have not even made an attempt to put myself “out there”. Other than an occasional flirtatious tone in my voice at the office my interaction with single men is non-existent. Looking at my calendar, I won’t have an opening until May. Until then…..I’ll be hungry and...losing weight!

I Am Nice For A Reason...It's The Best Way....

I am currently working in the customer service department at my place of employment and I have to tell you, there are a lot of ANGRY people out there. Maybe you are one of them! Just like in your own life, things seem to be going good for awhile and then everything appears to fall apart and we get a rash of phone calls from unhappy customers. You can blame it on the news, weather, the government or anything that is out of our control. But when we’re mad we want someone to know about it.

I don’t let any irate customer talk to my boss until they have talked to me first and calmed down. He’s younger, more stressed and takes things a little personally. I have learned to be nice for a reason….It’s the best way I know how to be mean. If you let an angry person talk long enough they’ll figure out on their own that they are being a jerk and are usually sorry. I find it better than calling their attention to the fact and putting them on the defense.

I believe that most people just want to be heard (That’s why there are so many bloggers out there J ) and if you listen long enough you get to make a friend or at least find out some really interesting stuff. If you want to be heard (and I do want to hear from you) please comment on my blog posts. By the way, thanks to amandaribali and Emotion Flow for commenting on my blog.

The Eyes Are The Window To The Soul...And Sometimes a Date!

Mastering the art of flirting is essential to captivating the heart of your target (man.) Flirting with the eyes is fun and easy if you know what to do. Some women do it quite naturally, others (me) need lots of practice. In How to Marry The Rich, Ginnie Sayles says that flirting is best done in a state of high energy, perky posture and a quick pace and a happy and luminous face. Now pay close attention to what she says what to do with the eyes… “look deliberately into the eyes of every man you pass for 2 full, piercing seconds—and then slide your eyes away to the direction you’re walking. At the moment your eyes begin sliding away start smiling.” This is a fun way to practice flirting with the eyes.

Another way is from Kevin Hogan’ s Irresistible Attraction. This book is my Manhunter’s bible. Kevin says that you should maintain eye contact with your date (or potential date) about 80% of the time. That translates into a 7 second gaze and a 3 second look away, or a 14 second gaze and a 6 second look away. And this does NOT mean staring into the pupils until you are dizzy. You gaze into the eye nose triangle. One suggestion is to look from eye to eye then to nose repeated during a conversation.

Mr. Hogan also suggests that “flashing” your eyebrows ( a quick raise of the eyebrows,)is another way to signal someone you are interested. If someone “flashes “you, it is polite to “flash ” back. If someone doesn’t “flash “ you back they are either rude or not interested. “ Flashing” is fun, so just move on to the next “flashee.”
The next step is to after the “flash” or making eye contact for a few seconds, look down and the up again into his eyes. I taught this to my married daughter who did it to her husband. He immediately smiled and gave her a wonderful compliment. It WORKS! So practice, practice, practice.

Men Are Like A Box of Chocolates

In the art of manifesting we are taught to be clear, very clear in what we want. When it comes to manifesting a man I just don’t know exactly what I want. You see, I believe that men are like a box of chocolates.

When I get a box of chocolates I am so excited by the variety that I just don’t know where to start. So I usually pick a familiar favorite, something I’m comfortable with. And while I’m being comfortable with the old standby flavor, I share my chocolates. But then I think I should be more daring and try something new. That’s when I find out all the good ones have been taken. And all that’s left are those chocolates that look pretty on the outside, but when you pick them up you find out someone has dug a little hole on the bottom of the chocolate, saw that they didn’t want it and put it back. And who is it that doesn’t bother to discreetly dig at bottom and takes a full nibble before deciding that they don’t want it?

So when it comes to men, have all the good ones been taken? Are the men circulating the singles market been chewed up and spit out, or put back on the market with a little digs and scars?

Forget about the familiar favorites, I am looking for a man that wants to be enjoyed and savored. Someone who dares to be different like a mango truffle or a lime rickie chocolate.

Do Single Men Go To Church?

I would love to have a God fearing, Christian man in my life. But you won’t find many of them in church. Research shows that only 15-20 % of single men go too church. In “ How to Marry the Rich,” by Ginie Polo Sayles , she writes , “ The denominations and religions favored by the Rich are the Episcopal denomination and the Jewish religion.” I’m not sure I want to switch religions just to find a rich God fearing man. Attending a particular church just to scope out the men seems a little less than genuine.

So where do the men go if not to church? Many men don’t believe they need organized religion to have a relationship with God. Some take Sunday as a day to reconnect with nature, biking, hiking, cycling, boating, fishing etc. Many men have forgotten about God and the Sabbath and are out golfing or in front of the TV with a 6 pack, (beer not abs) watching a football game.

Where ever you are God fearing Christian man, Margot is looking for you.

How To Tell If He's SIngle

He came into the office today. He said his name was Mark. Tall, cute, polite, friendly and I began to wonder….Is he married? And then I heard that ever so soft clink as he set his left hand down on the railing.
When you are a single woman looking for a guy you have to have all your senses heightened to detect whether or not you are in the presence of a single guy. I was lucky. I heard the clink of his wedding ring before I made a fool of myself. At least he wore a ring.

So many married men today do not wear a wedding band to tell all of us single women that they are already taken. So, how do you know?
When looking to see if a man is single at the grocery store the answer is in his cart Does he have things like chicken nuggets in the shape of dinosaurs, yogurt with Dora on the label, or Dove chocolate. Or does he have single serve items, a small box of Minute Rice a six pack of beer and no fruits or vegetables. It’s more of the whole group of objects rather than one or two items that give it away.

We can discuss other ways to tell if a guy is single in other scenarios at a later date. Please leave a comment if you have anything to add.

Must Love Dogs

I am an animal lover and I have found that men who are kind to animals tend to be more kind and empathetic in general. Myers & Briggs would agree. Kindness and empathy are two very desirable traits I am looking for in a man.

In a recent study from the University of Texas at Austin, Sam Gosling reports that, “those who define themselves as "dog people" are more extraverted, more agreeable and more conscientious than self-described "cat people."”
The report further goes on to say that cat people tend to be more neurotic and open than dog people. Now don’t blame me…even though I might agree…this is what the study said and the replies came pouring in…Mostly from cat people who were offended.

You can read all about it at http://www.utexas.edu/news/2010/01/13/personality_dogs_cats/
Leave me a comment, I’d love to hear from you.

A Very Special Valentine's Day

As I walked into the kitchen and saw the beautiful coral roses in the blue glass vase sitting on the table my eyes filled up with tears and my thoughts went back many years to my first Valentine's Day without my husband.

As a husband, my children's father was a great gift giver. He knew how to make any occasion special. That first Valentine's Day alone I remember as being dark and dreary as February days can be. I was having a bit of a pity party feeling sorry for myself and I wondered who would ever again bring me flowers and gifts.

Although I went through the motions of the day for my children's sake , I still felt a little empty until a simple act of kindness and thoughtfulness changed my outlook. My oldest son came in later that evening with a bouquet of roses and one for each of his sisters, just like his father used to do. I was so deeply touched and continue to be whenever my children give me flowers.

Bread feeds the body, but flowers feed the soul.

Valentine’s Day For Singles - Making The Most of The Day of Love.

That fabulous day of flowers and chocolates, gifts and valentine cards with loving sentimental poems, is just around the corner. Millions of Americans will find themselves alone, but it doesn’t need to end up that way.

There are several ways to include others on Valentine’s Day as well as making it special for yourself. Here of some of the most popular things to do to shake off the feelings of loneliness and enjoy the holiday.

1 - Y Pamper yourself. This is a great time to light the candles and pour a scented bath. Take the time for a pedicure or get a massage. Sometimes we get so busy we forget to take time for ourselves. This is a great day to indulge.

2 - Y Call Mom and Dad, a family member or a friend you haven’t talked to in awhile. Let them know you are thinking of them and wishing them a wonderful day.

3 - Y Don’t wait to be invited, you be the one to make things happen. Call up others that you know are spending the day alone and go out to dinner or a movie, or maybe just stay home and have a game night playing your favorite board games.

4 - Y Visit the homebound or an assisted living facility. These are people who get so little attention and a valentine with a simple hello could mean the world to them.

5 - Y Offer to tend a couple’s children so that they can have a night on the town. You can have a blast with the kids and making valentine treats and cards for their parents.

6 - Y See what’s happening in your area. Sometimes radio stations or communities put on events to celebrate the day. Go and mingle, maybe you’ll run into a friend or two. Maybe you will make a friend or two. Just because you go alone doesn’t mean you will stay that way.

7 - Y Make treats and give them to your neighbors. If your cooking skills need some work, buy an assortment of treats and bag them up with a nice bow. I have a friend that buys goodies at the big warehouse stores. By the time they are delivered as gifts, they are in a decorative bag with a pretty bow.

This is the day to spread the love .Putting the focus on other’s will surely cure the blues for being alone on Valentine’s Day. We will get back much more than we give.

YYYYYYY

My Irresistable Booty...

It's not just the Booty but the waist to hip ratio. Did you know that men find a waist to hip ratio of between .6 and .8 as most attractive. It's inborn. He doesn't even have to think about it.

Now as an overweight woman I find this information quite interesting as I have an obscenely large booty. So let's do the math. My hips: 51.5" (give or take) My Waist: 39" (give or take) so 39 divided by 51.5 is .75.

Amazing that a man could be instantly attracted to me because of that ratio. And you really can't argue with science. It gives us big girls hope!

I found this juicy bit of info and whole lot more with Kevin Hogan's Irresistable Attraction.

Irresistible attraction means bringing your charismatic you to all of your relationships. Whether you are moving toward intimacy or simply want to be at your best, this video takes you through the laws of attraction and charisma.